At our current rate of development (departure from God), we will soon decide to kill all manner of people. Is it too farfetched to imagine the following letter written to an editor before two more decades roll past?
Dear editor,
As society has progressed and war has been eliminated as being too costly and ineffective, we have been faced with an increased population problem. Of course, we thought the AIDS epidemic might destroy a great segment of society, but then its remedy was discovered. Since cures for cancer, leukemia, and various other diseases have also been found, we now have the opportunity to live to the age of 140 with relatively few health problems.
Our government’s propensity for safety has added to the general population increase, also. With cigarettes, alcohol, and junk food being outlawed, everyone lives healthier lives. Enforcing the national 40 m.p.h. speed limit, in conjunction with the requirement of the protective body suit and helmets worn inside the car, has made traffic accidents no more dangerous than bumper cars. (Since half of them were caused by drunk drivers anyway, the elimination of alcohol made a huge difference.) Death due to gunshot wounds has also dropped dramatically since the repeal of the second amendment (an idea that was way overdue).
So what could be done about our increasing population? Fortunately, there was the expanded use of abortion in connection with genetics. With our advancing technology, we were able to predict what children might be born with defects; of course, most parents were delighted to abort such children with a view toward getting a “normal” child the next time. Since most parents made the attempt a second time, however, the number of people was not significantly decreased.
What few gains there were in those areas were offset by the increased criminal population after the abolition of the death penalty. But our courts deemed it cruel to take anyone’s life just because he murdered, tortured, and raped his fellow citizens. After all, we must be able to forgive, or there is no difference between us and animals.
Compulsory euthanasia has slowed population growth somewhat, but many have rebelled against the 140-year age limit. Originally, this was a good idea, but there are now too many exemptions, an idea that originated with the lawmakers who passed the original bill. Many argued that if legislators were exempt, so should be the executive branch. As you know, the Supreme Court (average age 93) upheld exemptions.
With the world’s population nearing 8 billion, something had to be done. Isn’t Heaven wonderful to have given us Serenity. As you know, the Quality of Life Protection Agency, appointed by our previous president, came up with this ingenious plan. Serenity is an odorless, tasteless powder that can be dissolved in anyone’s drink; it is instantly fatal. There are no warning signs or uncomfortable feelings. The brain is shut down instantaneously and permanently, to everyone’s satisfaction.
Serenity is the wonder drug of our era. Anyone may obtain enough of it to use on someone provided that he complies with the Quality of Life Protection Agency’s guidelines. The applicant must provide a list of five individuals who have come to an agreement on the need to eliminate the person in question. They must present reasons why society would be better off without that individual. A number of reasons are acceptable.
1. The candidate abuses his children (by spanking them).
2. The candidate is simply too old (list age).
3. The candidate has spoken against fornication, adultery, homosexuality, or bisexuality.
4. The candidate speaks unfavorably toward the current government.
5. The candidate questions the judgment of the QLPA.
6. The candidate has indulged in illegal substances (twinkies or buttered popcorn).
7. The candidate seems overly religious (talks to people about Jesus or can quote Scriptures).
8. The candidate has procured a firearm.
9. The candidate obtained Serenity for one person but used it on another.
10. The candidate complained about the government school system.
The QLPA will not let the administration of Serenity get out of hand. Each person is allowed only one application per year, and there is a quota that, once reached, means that all other applications will be rejected until the next calendar year. Living is all about choices. We should all choose to use Serenity wisely. It will only help society by sending ahead those who have outlived their usefulness here. We ought to be grateful to the divine wisdom the QLPA has shown. Serenity will keep in balance the population of the entire world and improve the quality of life for all of us.