[Editor’s note: Although it will probably not be considered too bright to disagree with an individual whose IQ is upwards of 170, nevertheless it is necessary in light of her February 21st column in Parade Magazine. Following is an open letter to Marilyn Vos Savant.]
Very few notable public figures have taken a stand against homosexuality. The reason is not difficult to comprehend: it is now “socially incorrect” to do so. Still, I did not think you would be intimidated by the recent shift in thinking. Perhaps you have not been affected; you may have always held the view expressed in your recent column.
When a 17-year-old-male asked you whether or not to come out of the closet, your reply fell far short of your usually fine reasoning ability. Following is your reply and my response to it. I wish you would reconsider what you wrote, but my expectations are not very high.
Even if you could successfully keep your homosexuality a secret forever, I definitely think you should come out. For all of us, loving and accepting who we are is the first step on the road to happiness (8).
What is good advice for the homosexual should also apply to the adulterer. Perhaps Bill Clinton should not have tried to hide who he is. He might have had fewer problems (at least with lying) if he had said at his inauguration speech, “I’m going to sport and cavort with women in the Oval Office. I have to accept myself for who I am. Otherwise, I will not be able to be happy, and you wouldn’t want a miserable president.”
Someone might say that adultery is wrong and violates the agreement one has with his mate. True, but people admit to doing it anyway. Should they be true to themselves or hide what they are doing? The same Book condemns both adultery and homosexuality.
But then, say, that I am addicted to alcohol, and that is who I am. Perhaps I am a closet gambler or drug addict. Is the first step on the road to happiness to admit who I am?
Living among those who love and accept us is the second step. If anyone turns against you, it will only be a loss in number. The quality of your family and friends is far more important than the quantity of them! No matter how many people remain–and I predict their number will be larger than you think–they will become even dearer to you as a result.
This is disastrous logic! In effect, you have said, “Only the people who agree with you are worth anything. All the others are useless nonentities” (probably bigoted homophobes). Is this how you operate, Marilyn? Are the only intelligent, loving, caring people the ones who agree with you, and as for the rest, who needs them? Have you never considered that the one who rebukes you may be your best friend and that those who agree may be fawning sycophants or just plain indifferent to moral standards?
You have eliminated from the young lad’s acquaintances anyone who might believe, as the Bible teaches, that homosexuality is a sin–anyone who might encourage him to overcome the problem.
If you decide to come out, I’d suggest going to the family member who you believe loves you the most–usually Mom. Tell her the news with warmth and good spirit, and be sure not to act apologetic. That is, present yourself in the light in which you want others to see you….
Many mothers would respond by assuring this youngster that there is a way to overcome this sin. Love means doing what is best for others, not accepting them the way they think they are. If an adolescent came to you and said, “I’ve been hooked on crack cocaine,” would you try to see how many family members would accept that situation? If a child came to you and said, “I’m addicted to pornography,” would you smile, hug him, and say, “I understand, Ted.” In every other situation imaginable you would want young people to get help. Why is homosexuality different?
As you know, this won’t be easy, but I’m sure you’ll feel much better when you’re in a position to move into honest adulthood, free of the burden of the erroneous expectations and flawed ambitions of others.
Is it such a flawed ambition for a mother to desire that her child be free of immoral actions? Is it an erroneous expectation for her to desire that her child, created in the image of God, grow up to please Him?
But this line of thought brings us to the underlying postulates of your article. Your advice reflects the following attitudes, upon which your answer appears to be constructed. If any of the following points is inaccurate, please disavow them, explaining the reason they do not apply.
1. You believe that homosexuality is not a choice. If it is not, there are only two basic options: 1) One is a homosexual at birth; 2) One is made a homosexual through some kind of external influence. How does the fact that some homosexuals do change affect this tenet?
2. You reject the Bible as the inspired Word of God. This must be the case since the Bible defines homosexuality as a sin as early as Genesis 19:4-5 and as late as Jude 7 (with a number of references in between). The subject is never spoken of favorably in the Scriptures; the practice is always condemned (Rom. 1:18-32). Yet your answer to the young man never mentions these important facts. You told him to be what he is instead of overcoming the sin.
The above argument could be stated in syllogistic form, if need be. It would be greatly appreciated if you would respond to these two points or any of the other comments I made. There is certainly no desire to misrepresent you, but your answer fell far short of your usual brilliance; it was very disappointing.