When little Billy was just a boy, he occasionally got in trouble, as little boys often do. But his mother always managed to find a way to keep him from being punished. “Don’t worry, Billy. I know it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know what you were doing. I’m sure there is a way out of this situation. Just trust me.” His playmates were kept in after school at times because of their misdeeds, but somehow Billy’s mother was able to keep his father or school officials or anyone else from disciplining little Billy.
When Bill was a teenager, he fathered a child, but in those days no one had heard of DNA tests; so he refused to take responsibility for his lasciviousness. He regretted that a baby had resulted from his uncontrolled passions, but that was not his problem, he reasoned. He asked his friends to spread the rumor that his former girlfriend had been promiscuous and that the child could have been anybody’s. They assured him that they would help him out of this jam, which they proceeded to do. The charge was not true, of course, but he discovered that lying was helpful at times.
When Bill tried gambling, he found quickly that it was not one of his strengths. He owed $1,000 and had no one he could ask to borrow such a sum. He and a co-employee hatched a plan to say they were robbed of their evening receipts at their place of employment. They were very clever about it, too. Most of their answers about the phantom robbers matched, but some questions one answered while the other didn’t know, and vice versa. No one caught on; Bill paid his gambling debts and left that form of “entertainment” for good.
Bill got married, but it didn’t last. In two years they both decided it had been a mistake, although both were in their mid-twenties at the time of marriage. They parted as friends (for the most part) and assured one another that it was the best thing to do under the circumstances. Three years later Bill married again. He never mentioned his former marriage and insinuated he had always been single.
When his new “wife” insisted that they begin worshipping somewhere, they selected a church of Christ that met near where they lived. In time they were visited and studied with. She was ready to obey the gospel; Bill was baptized, but only for appearance’s sake. He had lied about so much in his young life that one more deception seemed harmless to him. They had been asked if this was their first marriage, and Bill’s innocent wife assured them it was. Bill remained silent.
After 15 years and three children, someone from his past came to visit the family and asked about Bill’s first wife. Bill answered that his first wife had been unfaithful to him and hurriedly changed the subject. (Of course it was a lie, but by now he knew what the Bible taught, although he did not necessarily believe it. He also knew that according to its teachings, he was not entitled to be married, and he was not about to give up his wife and family just because of some technicality.) The wife was distraught about being deceived and talked to the preacher and his wife. They agreed with her that it was disappointing and painful for her to have been deceived, but as long as he had been free to marry, everything was all right, Biblically speaking (Matt. 19:3-9).
But she was unwilling to let the matter lie. He had deceived her once; had he deceived her twice? She pressed him for details and eventually located Bill’s first wife. She made no assumptions but casually asked why they had divorced. “Well, we were young when we married, didn’t really know one another very well, and just decided that it wouldn’t work out.” “Uh,” Bill’s wife paused, “I don’t know exactly how to ask this without sounding nosy or insensitive, but were either of you involved in an extramarital affair before the divorce?” Her heart sank when the reply came, “Oh, no. It was nothing like that. We were involved before we got married, but while married, there was no outside hanky-panky going on. In fact, that was the best thing about our marriage. No, we separated because we were incompatible in just about every other way.”
When Bill’s wife confronted him with these facts, he admitted the truth. She cried for several days because of his betrayal, because of their current situation, because the lack of a solution, and because of their innocent children. Their youngest was ten; would he understand the situation? She insisted they talk to the preacher and the elders of the congregation they attended, and all of them confirmed her fears–that she and Bill did not have a right to be married. Bill didn’t care what they thought, but she was torn between the Truth and her family situation.
Meanwhile, Bill had been doing some checking around and had discovered that there was another “church of Christ” nearby that had made the public statement, “We will accept anyone as members–regardless of their past marital history.” What a perfect solution! When he shared this news with his wife, he could not understand her lack of enthusiasm. “Their policy doesn’t change the Scriptures,” she said. “Let’s just talk with them,” he prodded. “What can it hurt to get a second opinion? If there’s any way to keep our family together, don’t we owe it to ourselves just to listen?”
Bill’s wife knew that what she was hearing at that meeting was baloney, but desperate people can sometimes be persuaded against their wills. She relented, and they moved their membership to this new “church.” After all, the elders and the preacher had assured them that their marriage was valid since they were not Christians at the time of their “marriage.” In every other respect they were a conservative congregation.
Over the next ten years, however, various other doctrines were introduced. Grace and love were greatly emphasized while sin was scarcely ever mentioned. Obedience to God was equated with legalism, and no one’s self-esteem was bruised, let alone damaged. The worship began to change with quartets leading the singing; handclapping became popular, and instruments of music were being used in meetings outside the assembly. Women were made deaconesses.
Theistic evolution was taught, and hell was never mentioned (if, in fact, anyone still believed in it). The group began to fellowship denominations, and baptism for the remission of sins was rarely mentioned (and not really regarded as essential any longer). Bill’s wife knew all these things were wrong, but she could not speak out because of her own unlawful marriage. She had made excuses to friends, even sometimes parroting the drivel she usually heard about not “judging” others.
Finally, she could stand it no longer. She protested to Bill, but he just told her that hundreds of people could not be wrong and that that small group they once attended was just a bunch of unloving exclusivists. She could tolerate the situation no longer. Her children had all left home; she did, too. She realized she had deceived herself for the sake of the family; she hoped she had not ruined her influence. She returned to the little congregation and repented sincerely for her unscriptural marriage and fellowshipping with an unscriptural church.
Bill was assured by the liberal congregation that he could divorce his wife of 25 years (since she had deserted him) and remarry, which he promptly did. He remained in full fellowship and continued to meet with that group until his death.
On the day of judgment there was no one to reassure Bill that everything would be all right. His mother, who had always fixed things for him, was herself lost; she could not help him now. His friends who rescued him from his responsibilities earlier in life could not get him out of this jam; they too stood condemned.
The shepherds of the large congregation were not there to comfort him; they were charged with dereliction of duty, not feeding the flock good food, and allowing wolves to destroy people’s souls. They could not offer their reassurances to Bill now. The preacher had been condemned by Jesus as a false teacher and was consigned to one of the hotter regions of hell for his purposefully leading people astray and taking Satan’s part.
Bill saw his “wife” of 25 years and the elders who had spoken the truth to him. They were being rewarded with crowns of life. But they could not help Bill now. For once, he had to live with his decisions (or perhaps we should say die with them).
Amidst the fire Bill saw his mother and said, “Look what your love has wrought.” “Be quiet, you ungrateful child,” she screamed in her misery. He saw one of the elders in torment, and said, “Where are your assurances now?” “Go away,” he moaned. “We told you what you wanted to hear. You got what you wanted on earth. Now reap the reward you deserve.” Bill was finally held responsible for his actions with one eternal thought: “Having my own way was not worth it!”