Time recently published an article entitled “Kids and Pot” by Lance Morrow (December 9, 1996). The article itself contains some useful information for today’s parents, such as the following.
Use of pot by young people rose 105% from 1992 to 1994, and gained 37% between 1994 and 1995. At the Phoenix House Foundation 10 years ago, 13% of adolescents sought treatment for marijuana; today that figure has jumped to 40% (28).
It has hardly discredited the substance that Head Boomer Bill Clinton, after stating four years ago that he hadn’t inhaled, told an MTV audience that he wishes he could have done so (29).
Could it be that the famous reluctance of the baby boomer to imagine himself as an adult has something to do with the weed he smoked when young? It is in the realm of the emotional development that marijuana does its damage (30).
Certainly these facts are disconcerting, but what accompanied the article was worse. Eight individuals were asked to comment on what to tell children about smoking marijuana. Some of those addressing this issue make valid points while others are wishy-washy. But the very first person whose advice is recorded is that of Joycelyn Elders, the former Surgeon General who has rarely (if ever) uttered an intelligent public comment.
Why would Time ask a woman whose son was convicted on drug charges what to say to children? Whatever she might say obviously failed in her own family. Anyone who reads her “advice” will understand why. She advocates making an appointment with one’s child (30). Is this approach needed in most families? Is everyone so busy that appointments must be scheduled so that family members can communicate?
After admonishing parents not to be judgmental (horrors-we wouldn’t want to convey the idea that certain types of behavior are morally wrong!), she tells them to take several deep breaths if they learn that their children are on or contemplating using drugs (30). This is an interesting treatment of the problem. Read the next sentence carefully.
Remember, your goal is not to change your child’s behavior because that is impossible (30).
Oh, really? That attitude would seem to make parents rather obsolete. Dr. Elders may not be aware that the Bible says, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of the child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him” (Pr. 22:15). But to leave off the above quotation where we did would not be fair since there was more to it-although what follows appears to be a contradiction.
Your goal is to encourage and guide your child into changing his or her own behavior (30).
The distinction between the two statements apparently involves getting the child to change behaviors as a matter of his or her own choice-as opposed to doing so as a response to external constraints. Well, of course, that would be ideal. Parents ought always to reason with their children and explain why something is not in their best interests, but if all that fails (and appealing to someone’s good nature often does), then parents need to take stronger action.
Parental discipline must be applied to correct wrong behavior. The writer of Hebrews states some truths today’s parents would do well to heed.
And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as sons: “My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; For whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives.” If you endure chastening, God deals with you as sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but grievous; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it (Heb. 12: 5-11).
Consider the following points from this text.
1. Children should be taught that discipline is in their best interests and that it is done out of love, just as God disciplines adults.
2. To fail to discipline is to fail to love.
3. The proper response to discipline (exercised fairly and judiciously) is one of respect.
4. No form of discipline is pleasant at the time; in fact, it may be largely unappreciated.
5. But when there is time to reflect upon its purpose and the love of the one administering it, it yields righteousness.
6. We are trained by loving discipline.
7. Appropriate behavior results. If more “boomers” followed Biblical principles, better children would result.